The Face of Rage
We rage when our emotion challenges our reason. When we are flooded with emotion we lose our perspective. Within out brains, activity and blood flow are concentrated in the areas of emotion and defense, not in our thinking centers.
Rage has many faces. There is yelling, name calling, put-downs, slamming doors, throwing things, breaking things, punching walls. It can escalate to physical contact (assault). It could be as subtle as a look that says “That’s all I’m going to take”; it may a deep dark sulk that fills a room. And since the thinking brain isn’t all that active, a person usually doesn’t appreciate how much force is being projected.
The Effects of Rage
An adult living with a partner who rages is subject to on-going and acute levels of stress. This has negative effects on health and on the relationship. Even if there are no physical injuries, headaches, tension, stomach problems, sleep, concentration, anxiety, and depression can all be the long term effects. The relationship suffers when eventually one person is tip-toeing around the other, not feeling confident or safe enough to trust or share.
If there are children in the family they are impacted. Research consistently shows children are impacted even when the adults are sure they are “out of harms way”. Children suffer developmentally, emotionally, in their physical health, and in learning in school.
Finally, there are other habits and attitudes that also erode the peace and respect we want in our relationships. If you want to discuss either your emotional floods or actions, I’m happy to have that conversation.